Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Turning Can't-Win Into Can't-Lose!

Sometimes, we find ourselves in situations that may seem like lost causes. However, when examined in the proper light, it becomes clear that the situations have been misunderstood, and they are actually opportunities to excel. Observe.

Getting to a Bar and Finding No Women

Sausage fests aren't ideal. All single guys (and some taken men) are always thinking about trying to pick up women when they go out. It's a fact. But think of it this way: If you go to a bar packed with eligible women and go home empty-handed (literally), you get mad and feel like a loser. At least in my experience, there is an overwhelmingly high probability of this being the final outcome. But, if you go to a bar where nary a girl is found, other than the ones with their boyfriends, there is no one to strike out with. No reason to get down on yourself! You can't take home a woman who doesn't exist. This scenario also allows you to concentrate on the important things in life, like beer, wings, beer, pool, beer, buddies, darts and beer. Doesn't sound so bad, does it?

Rain on an Off Day

I am like everyone else, so I like to make grand plans for my days off, including Sundays. The problem is, Sundays are also my day of rest, so I find myself on the couch in front of the TV on most of them. If it a beautiful, sunny Sunday, I hate myself for wasting it. If it's shitty out, I feel much better about myself. "I should be on the couch! Only an idiot would be out in this stuff." So, does golf or frolf or BBQing happen? No, but neither does crippling self-loathing.

Rooting for a Terrible Sports Team

Trust me, I've had plenty of practice. Obviously, I want nothing more than my favorite teams to win it all. At the same time, getting kicked in the stomach is much more painful than knowing your team sucks all year. The Vikings losing in 3 NFC Championship Games since 1998 has been excruciating. The Timberwolves being awful since 2005 has been annoying. Annoying is more palatable. Make no mistake, I still have better memories from those Vikings seasons than the Wolves ones, but at least the Wolves have inflicted less pain. This one is sort of a win by default, but who cares, it's my blog.

I'm sure there are countless more examples of this phenomenon. I may even share more with you someday. That's all I have for now though, because daddy needs his nap.

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