Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Shaming of the Brew

Our team is a joke,
our program's a mess.
Time to figure it out, Brew.
This isn't checkers, it's chess.

You came with no experience,
your resume's funny.
How'd you get the job, anyway?
Does Maturi owe you money?

I'm sure your interview
with him was a dandy.
He loves you so much,
he'd probably give you a handy.

You promised Rose Bowls
and beating up Bucky.
Now we might win two games,
three if we're lucky.

You have the nation's third largest campus!
This team should run like a Lexus.
The only schools bigger?
Ohio State and Texas.

Perhaps you've heard of them.
They make winning look easy.
Meanwhile, your Gophs
make the fans feel queasy.

These games are unwatchable,
our chances of winning are slim.
We need change now!
Where's Barack when you need him?

I think that you care,
but I know that you suck.
So much so that you let
South effing Dakota run amok.

It's time for you to go,
you gave it a shot.
Go take your "talents" elsewhere.
Perhaps a used car lot?

You blew a great chance,
even attendance is now an issue.
Just get out already,
and take Weber with you!

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