Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Rickety Shef-chiket

For those who don't get the title.

I am balding. In fact, I have been balding since I was 18. I wear ankle braces to work because I had not one but two strained ankles last year. I become forgetful to the point where I don't even remember I have a blog. (Ok, that part is made up. I just have had a dearth of ideas the last couple months. I could just post mundane events in my day to day life, but no one has interest in reading it, nor do I have interest in writing it.) The tipping point was a week ago. It was an unseasonably warm day, and it was foggy and humid. My knees started to ache. After a second I thought, "Well, that makes sense. People's joints can ache due to weather changes affecting their arthritis in their joints." Then I remembered...

I'M ONLY 25!!!!!!!

I'm not 40. I'm not supposed to have joint issues! I've never been seriously injured, why the hell do I feel creaky already? I'm not supposed to have to shave my head already! Hair, I hardly knew thee. Now, naps, "Monk" reruns, and Johnny Carson YouTube clips, as old as they may make me seem, I'm okay with, but the rest of it is ridiculous.

In a very roundabout way, all of this brings us to June 30th's "Warrior Dash". If you've never heard of it, it is a 5k run on a ski hill with a bunch of obstacles in the way, and I am doing it. I have a big group of friends in it and decided, "What the Hell?" This is problematic for all of the reasons I have already laid out, and because even when I was in shape over half a decade ago, I still had an aversion to distance running.

But dammit, I'm doing it anyway. First of all, I need to start working out. I've pulled of the relatively skinny fat guy routine well for years, but it will catch up to me sooner rather than later. The problem is, motivation is difficult for me. Again, I'm still not overweight at all, and I don't have anyone to workout with. Besides, "Law & Order" and "Seinfeld" reruns are way more appealing than benching and squatting are. The thing is, I will probably literally die if I attempt this race without training heavily first. Self, meet motivation. Finishing isn't the only goal either. Believe it or not, I have some pride lurking around somewhere and I would like to do well. As my roommate bluntly and accurately pointed out to me, there are only 12 more weekends between now and then. Time to pound the pavement...