Saturday, May 15, 2010

Tomservations 1

I notice things, as most are wont to do, and I feel obligated to share some of these observations:

My favorite answer to the question "How's it going?" is "I can't complain!" even though I could complain about literally thousands of different things at any given moment (and clearly often do, as this blog post illustrates beautifully).

You never can fully appreciate how well Ibuprofen works until you have to deal with a splitting headache all day without it.

75% of drivers on the road today interpret "Yield" signs as "This sign doesn't fucking exist" signs and blow right through the intersection. In a cruel twist of fate, this often forces drivers on the non-yielding road to yield.

I get cravings for a specific type of food a lot. Many times I go get/make this food because of it, but it has never tasted as good in reality as it does in my head beforehand. Part of this is absolutely because I'm the one making it, but still.

I'm not sure that the idiom "Beer before liquor, you're going to be sicker," is true, but "4 pregame beers before a couple shots before 2 more beers before 2 different mixed drinks before 2 more beers before a shot before half of a meat and potato burrito before a nightcap at the house before bed, you're going to be sicker," is true 100% of the time.

Writing a post about random observations is great when you can't think of anything creative to write about.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Beer Index, Volume 2

It's baaaaaack, and so am I! (Pausing to allow for the raucous cheering to die down)...Alright, let's do it!

Summer Beer

Be it a barbeque, ballgame, or bonfire, beer and summer go together like lamb and tuna fish. With so many choices, which suds mesh best with summer?

Best Bet: Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy. I have discovered that if lemonade is mixed with virtually anything else, I'm in. Arnold Palmers and Jeremiah Weed with lemonade are crazy delicious, as is Summer Shandy. Beer and lemonade seems like an odd combo, but after I was introduced to a "Hop, Skip and Get Naked" (light beer, lemonade and a shot of vodka), I was hooked for life. It's great in the bottle and even better on tap where available.

Others Worth Considering: Sam Adams Summer Ale, Honey Moon, a pitcher of anything light and cheap

Stay-a-ways: Anything dark. It must be noted that I love pale ales and various other dark beers. The summer just isn't the right time for them. When I'm hibernating in the winter, I'm a stationary drunk, but in the summer I'm a drunk on the go! I can't have my beer slowing me down.

Celebratory Beer

Whether it be an engagement, birthday, or division championship, celebrations tend to include drinks on some level. Should you celebrate with champagne? Probably, but I'm on a budget, asshole.

Best Bet: Stella Artois. It's not champagne, but it's as close as you can get with beer. It's bubbly, delicious and is even served in a sweet glass. I'm still not positive how to pronounce it, but I do know I like to drink it.

Others Worth Considering: Fat Tire, Grolsch, any variety of lambic (expensive but delicious)

Stay-a-ways: Anything overly cheap. Live a little for once!

Beer Pong Beer

As an ultra-competitive person, I have always loved sports. However, high school ended years ago, and I can't do intramurals anymore now that I have graduated college, so I have to channel my zeal for competition into other areas. Bowling, slow-pitch softball and beer pong have filled that void. Beer pong is bigger than ever before, but what is the best choice to chug when your opponents are pwning you, n00b?

Best Bet: Miller High Life. It's my personal choice when it comes to bottom shelf beers. It's affordable, easy to drink quickly, and cheap. That's really all you need for gaming beer.

Others Worth Considering: Keystone Light, PBR

Stay-a-ways: The Beast, Icehouse. Yeah, be cheap, but have some standards, man! Spend the extra 2 bucks for something that doesn't taste like it was brewed in a shoe.

That will do it for the Beer Index, Volume 2. Volume 3 will come...eventually. Ya'll come back now, ya hear!